Crumpled Sheet of Paper

Contains references to sexual violence

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Crumpled Sheet - flickr

I am a crumpled sheet of paper in the hands of my predators
Their hands snaked around me, squeezing the life from my body, leaving me to collapse into their want
Too young to realize, too weak to fight back

………

He chose the game he wanted to play
and I became a dice he could roll around
in the palm of his hands
But this body is my temple, you lost my game and there will never be round two

………

My own thoughts strangled me as my body refused to listen to my brain
To touch my skin felt like fire burning through my veins, fire that ignited my predator
Hopelessly sinking into the bed that became an ocean, water drowning me and continuously pulling me further down

………

She destroyed my innocence where
“playing house” meant I played victim
and she played the predator
But this body is my temple and you did not receive an invite to my house party

………

They had the power to take my dignity into the palm of their hands and crumble it up
We are told when we crumble up a sheet of paper, you can never make it the way it was before

………

He threw me over his shoulder like a
rag doll and brought me to the place that
was once “my room” and is now “my nightmare”
But this body is my temple and not for you to play with like a doll you received on a holiday

………

Words disintegrating from my lips with the ashes of consent and destroying my trust for any human to touch my skin
Circling the drain of intimacy

………

They strapped me down and taught me
that crying meant I was “asking for it”
But this body is my temple and my words are louder than your lies

………

I wear the damage on my heart
My body used against me more than the number of fingers on my hand

………

But this body is my temple and when I broke free of your bondage,
my temple grew taller than your hands could touch me

………
I am a crumpled sheet of paper escaping the hands of my predator

 

Accompanying Photo: “Money Origami” © Japanexperterna.se licensed under Creative Commons 2.0.

If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual violence, please visit our Resources section for links to organizations that can help.

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Lexie Fried
Lexie Fried is a junior in Buffalo, New York. She is a passionate advocate for various causes and aspires to work in government. In addition to her love for jGirls, she also enjoys public speaking and community organizing. She is also very involved in the leadership of NFTY, North American Federation of Temple Youth, and her days are filled with being surrounded by her Reform Jewish community.