A.N.X.I.E.T.Y

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A.N.X.I.E.T.Y by Anonymous - Photo by Liora Meyer

Time moves like honey
stuck
in the back of my throat stuck
on my knuckles how did it get on my knuckles?
Stuck
sticking to the bottle to the shelf with its insides sludging
I’ve gone off again
Off track Off the train tracks Train wreck I’m a train wreck
Get it together come on shit shit

Please
stop
not again not again not
STOP
Breathe in
Reset
Breathe out
Be numb be soft be quiet and
Taste the air and the blue-gray color of nothing
Shove it away into nothing
Again. Breathe in
This wasn’t supposed to happen again
Breathe out

Open the window with an ear-splitting creak
Let the night air cool your face like a soft caress
Trace the chips in the paint with the tip of your pinkie finger
Remember a time when one crack became two
Watch the shadows flicker through the gap in the curtain
Like so many goldfish twitching about in endless endless endless circles

Time drips on in the night
Ghosts whisper to me as the water slides past the lump in my throat, quiet and soft
The lights melt away, and I melt with them
Everything is done now, gone, washed away
The night overpowers the buzz of
The honey washes away down my throat for now
With a bitter swallow

Repeat.

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When writing about very personal matters, contributors to jGirls Magazine may elect to publish their works anonymously at the discretion of the staff and Editorial Board. All works and contributors are verified as meeting jGirls’ qualifications prior to acceptance and publication.
Accompanying photo by Liora Meyer