Dime & Emmy

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Dime & Emmy by May Lafer-Kirtner - Photo by Lydia Miller

 

And a universe of their own
A world that went
By the rules we wrote
We gallivanted through Ttartarus
We raged through Olympus
We rewrote stories because
They weren’t good enough without us there
Emmy and Dime,
Dime and Emmy
Forever coming as a set piece
Two people taking on the world
Where one led the other would follow
I fell in love with you the day you—
I fell in love with you every day
You said my name
The first and the last,
Even when you were breaking my heart at the same time
I fell in love with you
And I know
I’m not supposed to feel sad anymore
I know I have gone through every stage of grief
And lasted the longest in anger
Because you deserve
Anger.
I know
That this is when I am supposed to be done healing,
And believe me,
I am healed,
But sometimes I wonder
What I would do
If you said you wanted me back?
Said you needed me back?
Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn’t
Drop everything
Just to be by your side
Emmy and Dime
A universe played by our own rules
Fuck it,
If everyone we knew told me it was a bad decision,
Fuck it
If I knew it was
Fuck it
If I got hurt again
And again
Maybe
It would all be worth it
If you told me you needed me by your side.
I fell in love with you
Every day you said my name.
Maybe I am the stupid one
Who keeps coming back
Because she can’t heal,
Maybe I’m the only one
Who misses us enough
To write poems about you every night.
But if you could see me now:
I am whole,
And brave,
And unafraid,
And I think I am finally over you
Because I am sitting here thinking about what college I will go to
I am sitting here
Thinking about the thousands of poems I will write one day
And yet
I am sitting here, writing another poem about you.
When people ask me
What happened to me
I ask them if they have ever been heartbroken or betrayed
And then I tell them
That best friends will always do more damage than any type of love
Because I could not rule my own universe
For months after you left
I couldn’t even enter it
Emmy and Dime
Dime and Emmy
Two girls
Taking on the world

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May Lafer-Kirtner is a member of the class of 2024 at South Eugene High School in Eugene, Oregon. She has been writing all her life, and after graduating, hopes to become a reporter and a novelist. After having a hard time in middle school, she started writing poetry and stories as an outlet for all of her most intense emotions—about friends, death, her chronic illness, and mental health struggles. She started trying to get published after reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower, because she hoped to remind other people they weren’t all alone.
Accompanying photo: “Siblings” by Lydia Miller