What Depression Feels Like

What Depression Feels Like by Abby Rickin-Marks - Photo by Sonja Lippmann(1)

This room forces me to become a master of disguise
This room keeps me confined in this solitary state
This room sucks me in like a black hole
This room shatters my heart like glass
This room is stuck in the depth of an abyss
This room strangles me and forces numbness down my throat
This room makes me close up and build impenetrable walls around me
This room keeps me exhausted, fatigued by life
This room engulfs my head in nothingness
This room is almost pitch black like the color of midnight with stars shining in the sky
This room lets me see everything outside
This room doesn’t let anyone see inside
This room says hope is only an illusion
This room makes it impossible for me to stand my presence
This room leaves me disorderly, mistrustful, emotionless, alone in my thoughts
This room is where I have been trapped forever
This room is silent, unbeknownst to laughter and song
This room is a thief, stealing my freedom
This room makes me realize that I have lost myself completely
This room makes my thoughts pierce the stale air like bullets
This room makes my words feel like the endless stabs of a dull knife
This room has killed who I used to be
Yet eventually, I will leave this room, full of hope
Because I am stronger than this room

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Abby Rickin-Marks is member of the class of 2021 at Fox Chapel Area High School in Pittsburgh, PA. In the times that she isn't doing schoolwork, she enjoys working on a family tree, reading, writing, and playing with her pets.
Accompanying photo: “The Light at the End of the Tunnel” by Sonja Lippman